THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
