I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
