Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
