So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
