Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
