Your dad touched me again.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
