i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
