u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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