We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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