The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
