The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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