I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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