That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
