Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
