I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Damn victory sex feels great
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
