so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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