I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize