he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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