she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
