You smell like stripper and shame
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
did you just send me my own nude
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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