She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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