Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
