Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
