i'm signing you up for texting rehab
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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