Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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