never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize