ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
PANTIES FOUND
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