Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I look better un-naked...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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