When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
