It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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