You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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