Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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