forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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