I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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