for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize