i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
