you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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