She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
