The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My pussy is not your playground.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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