i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
