Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
