She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
