I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
