I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
