I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I would ride that face into the sunset
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
