I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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