Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize