my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
