You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
