My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
