it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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