I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize