please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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