Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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