You can't motorboat a personality
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize