When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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