the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
