So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
