pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
