I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
