i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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