Since when is my name a synonym for head?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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