Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
