North Korea, Best Korea!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
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