We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
