i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
