new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
