You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
